McCain, Clinton, or Obama?

Which one(s) shares each trait with perennial presidential candidate Bob Dole?

1. Has Kansas roots? Answer here.

2. Is subject to being paid faux homage for his many years of honorable service by opponents who just want to remind people how old he is? Answer here.

3. Is driving an unwinning message of downbeat annoyance at the media reminiscent of Dole's 1996 "where's the outrage?" Answer here.

4. Is already sick of Jack Kemp's press showboating? Answer here.

5. Has a spouse who ran for president and can cast a wide shadow? Answer here.

6. Is always one falling-off-the-stage moment from a paradigm shift? Answer here.

7. Is worried that a third-party or independent candidate could alter the outcome of the general election? Answer here.

8. Will have his/her name paired with an unpopular Republican boogyman (such as "Gingrich" or "Bush") to make them rhetorical running mates? Answer here.

9. Will feel enormous cross-pressure to pick a running mate who satisfies the base and/or reaches out to the center? Answer here.

10. Has received medals of valor for combat? Answer here.

11. Might be left at an extraordinary (and determinative) spending disadvantage all spring and summer? Answer here.

12. Has been staffed by wonky health care specialist Laurie Rubiner? Answer here.

13. Secretly believes at heart that he/she deserves to be president because he/she knows the most about how Congress works? Answer here.

14. Thinks being on "Meet the Press" is more important than going to church? (Actually: thinks being on "Meet the Press" IS going to church.) Answer here.

15. Is most likely to be honored at the White House by the person who beats him/her in the general election? (Dole got the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Bill Clinton.) Answer here.

16. Has more than one piece of legislation with his/her name and that of "Kennedy" that will come up during a general election? Answer here.

17. Has a naturally testy personality that could hurt his/her perceived glowing relationship with the national press corps? Answer here.

18. Considers his/her spiritual and intellectual home to be Washington, D.C., regardless of the state's initials following his/her name? (When Dole vowed "the White House or home," "home" really meant his apartment in the Watergate and not America's heartland.) Answer here.

19. Has a difficult time faking interest in issues that energize the party base and is prone at times to admit as much? Answer here.

20. Has no intention of ever going back to his/her humble, low-key roots when public life is complete? Answer here.

21. More at home in Russell Senate Office Building than in a place like, say, Russell, Kansas....or Little Rock? Answer here.

22. Was a good enough high school basketball player to initially play college hoops before giving it up? Answer here.

23. Secretly thinks the party base is crazier than the March Hare and loathes having to kiss the rings? Answer here.

24. Hates to lose? Answer here.

25. Considers it humiliating to lose? Answer here.

26. Has appeared in a television ad broadcast during the Super Bowl? Answer here.